May 29, 2008
Almost...
With its course, without my effort, without my really being aware, even that awful song, which could belong to them, has seemed to shed away images of her.
It used to get on my nerves because it struck the wrong chord in me. But now... now, it doesn't sound that bad anymore. 'Cos there seems to be a different association. An association that's surely less painful and less unnerving.
Is this a good sign that you've been hoping for? I don't know. But it's a sign, alright.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 20:44
A half-yearly royal meeting
With the knight. Who else?
"Life has a way of getting back to normal." How true!
It's nice to know I met some of the expectations of the person whom you once thought you would end up marrying. Ya. 'Cos you are the kind of intriguing person I thought I would end up marrying too. Even if obviously, we are not going to get married to each other. I think that's for the better. Affirmative.
Indeed, everything is lighter and funnier on retrospect.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:20
May 25, 2008
The company
Is so precious. Like you said.
I think that's the best thing. The company. The knowing that you could stay in each other's company and speak quite freely, laugh quite easily, not being bothered by the occasional silence. In fact, enjoying the silence too.
I could have done all I did on my own too, at home. But there are times when we would want to be doing things with another person. Times when I would like to.
I like this. The status quo.
Greatness comes from simplicity. What a simple dinner!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 17:19
May 24, 2008
I miss bblics...
Too many Fridays... too many weekends without our un-executable smses.
She said China blocks blogspot. So, she can't read this. But I'm sure she knows... I'm sure.
I really miss her exasperated look whenever she feels like talking about work but doesn't know where to start. More often than not, just settled with "I don't wanna talk about it." I really miss her silence. And her super lethargy.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:49
The right button
Someone made me happy today. And it's not difficult at all.
And/But I really didn't manipulate for that to happen.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:44
May 22, 2008
The stories we could tell
If only we met at different time, i would have told you a different story.That moved me. Strangely.
'I wish there was someone waiting for me somewhere' - that's just a book title by the same author who wrote 'Hunting and Gathering'.
I like stories. Because after awhile, we forget all the answers. But, we don't forget the stories. Just like, after awhile, we forget about some people. But, we don't forget how they made us feel.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:21
May 19, 2008
Apple's windows
I'm very happy, really happy to share that moment with you. As we grow up, there are lesser n lesser moments we share with our friends, moments that matter to us. Blame it on work, responsibiities and well, life. So, I'm really happy that I was there this morning.
Luv u, woman!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:57
What a week!
I am looking at my Things to do! list. Out of 8 items that I listed for last week, only 2 remain unchecked. I think that's fantastic. *pats pats myself*
I watched Made of Honour (good chick flick but I find Patrick Dempsey cuter in his surgeon robe in Grey's Anatomy). I watched Ayat-Ayat Cinta (was good, pretty insightful, slightly lame but I was very moved a few times).
I went dancing. At Movida. And ok, for the first time in my life, someone bought me a drink. Hmm, not exactly. More like he bought a whole bottle of Vodka, cranberry juice and orange juice and needed some space to do the mixing himself. And I merely moved my bar seat back a little to make way for him. And out of goodwill, he mixed a glass each for Zie and me. It was not too bad, really. When he found out I don't take Vodka, he poured me a glass of orange juice. Haha! Funny.
And I'm so happy Anna's back! It always feels 'complete' when friends who have been overseas for sometime come back home.
I had a really good time hanging out at ECP with Karen and Miche after a really filling steamboat (which clearly marked out who's the real queen of steamboat...) at PP. It's really nice when you get to know new friends and somehow, they feel like old friends.
I had a wonderful time catching up with Chaw Su, Dharma and KY, ST even though Emman and I practically had to drag them out of office.
At the start of my week break, I said I would have to make this week a fruitful one and put it to good use. I think I did.
So, do I feel the blues about resuming work tomorrow? Not at all. Moreover, I need new cash handouts soon!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:43
Resto review: Mussel Guys
This is free publicity (occasionally, I'm charitable too) for a restaurant @ Vivocity, called The Mussel Guys. I had dinner with CJ and Zie there on Saturday night.
here's the background:
As usual, I asked for a round of water for us after we placed our order. The waitress told us that they don't serve iced water on Fridays and Saturdays. We could purchase a bottle of mineral water for $1 if we like. Then, I asked if they serve warm water. "No, you got to buy the bottled water." Fine. I could understand. It was becoming a norm, that restaurants don't even serve tap water nowadays. So, Zie and I ordered a Coke and Iced Lemon Tea for $1.50 each and CJ ordered Iced Lemon Tea and one more bottle of mineral water cos she was really thirsty.
The dinner went on fine. The food was mediocre but it's always the company that counts. So, we were having a good time catching up neverthelessly over mediocre food.
here's bafflement 1:
we were finishing up our dessert when this waitress came by to pour iced water into our already empty glasses. Cj and I stared at the glasses filled with cold water now and stared at each other, dozens of question marks popping above our head. Naturally, we asked for an explanation.
me: I would just like to check if you serve iced water.
manager: No. We don't serve iced water.
me: That's what we were told too. When we ordered, your staff told us that you don't serve iced water on Fridays and Saturdays. And that's why we ordered a drink each and my friend here ordered an additional bottle of mineral water.
manager: Ya.
me: But just now, one of your staff came over and poured these two glasses of water for us. So, we are a little confused now. If you serve iced water, why would we order our drinks?
manager: Oh, we don't. Which staff was it?
me: It was a lady. I can't really remember.
manager: Ok. I think I know who you are referring to. She's new and she's a foreigner. So, maybe she didn't understand.
me: Uh... ok.
manager: I already told her many times but she keeps doing it. I think she's foreigner, so she doesn't really understand.
me: Uh... right.
manager: I will talk to her again.
me (thinks) you had told her many times and she kept doing it? Sounds like it's your problem, and not her problem.
here's bafflement 2:
We all felt the manager's explanation was really lame. And at that point in time, we started to get annoyed at the inconsistency in the service. But, I thought, "let's let it go. Maybe she's really new and there's some misunderstanding." That's when we saw something even more puzzling. A waiter was serving some guests cups of warm water. Zie and I stared at the cups of warm water and then, at each other. I asked Zie, "Now, what is that?" So, we decided to check this again.
zie: Can you get us some warm water?
waiter: Um, it's 30 cents per glass.
me: You serve warm water. But it's 30cents per cup?
waiter: Ya.
me: Right.
cj: But when we asked earlier, we were not told. I thought you don't serve warm water at all.
waiter: We do. But you have to pay 30cents.
me: Ok. (thinks) What the?
waiter: So, would you like the warm water?
me: No... it's fine. Um, can you get us the bill, please?
It was clear. We were not going to just accept this service standard and walk out of that restaurant, feeling incredulous and shortchanged. When the bill came...
me: I would like to waive this service charge.
waitress: Um... can I get my manager to come?
me: Sure! I would like to speak with him too.
manager: Yes?
me: I would like to waive the service charge on my bill.
manager: May I know the reason?
me: Because the service we got was inconsistent. First, when we ordered, we were told you don't serve iced water. Which is fine. Because then, we ordered a drink each. Then, your staff came over and poured us iced water. If we had known, we wouldn't have ordered our drinks! It doesn't make sense for my friend to order this bottle of mineral water. Then, the next thing we knew, your staff was serving warm water. For 30cents per cup. And I did ask if you serve warm water. But we were told, "No iced water and warm water." We could only get bottled water. Which is what my friend got.
manager: Maybe you didn't ask clearly about the warm water.
me (thinks) So, it's my fault now? But I said: I did. I always take warm water, not iced water. So I double checked with your staff if you serve warm water. I was told that no, you don't.
cj: Ya, we did ask. You staff said you don't serve iced water or warm water.
manager: We have a few foreign staff here and maybe they don't understand and it's hard to teach them. Because of communication problem.
me: Right. But that's not my problem, right?
manager shrugs...
me: We did ask. For both iced and warm water. But the only option for us was to order drinks, or get bottled water for $1. Which, really, is fine. Cos that's what we did. But then, if I had known there was an option of warm water, I wouldn't have order my drink. So, why should I pay for such inconsistent service? (thinks: and your face tells me you have a really bad attitude in customer service)
manager: Ok. But we can't waive the service charge. It's unfair to the other staff and not in the interest of the company.
me (thinks) why the fuck should I care about the interest of your company? But I said: Ok. I can understand about the fairness bit. Then, I would like to waive off this bottle of water. It doesn't make sense for us to pay for it.
manager (n.b. this is the classic...): But you already drank it.
me (thinks) you are such a fucking moron. But I said: OK. So, you are not going to waive the service charge and you are not going to waive this bottle of water from the bill.
manager shrugs...
me: Ok. And you are going to let 3 of your customers walk out of your restaurant feeling totally dissatisfied about your service. And yet, you are not going to do anything about it. Is that right?
manager shrugs...
me: Is there someone else I can speak to? Someone above you?
manager: No. I'm the only manager.
me: Unbelieveable. (shakes head)
cj: Ok. We will pay the bill in full. But we expect an apology.
manager: (in a very reluctant and insincere and seriously in need of a good tight slap way) Ok. Ya. I'm sorry about all these.
cj: That's hardly an apology.
manager shrugs...
me: (shakes head) Never mind. I'll take the bill. This is incredible...
here's bafflement 3:
Later, when our bill came back for signature, we were served by the captain of the staff. A very nice and sweet lady, who's also not local.
cj: Is there somewhere we can write to to give feedback about this restaurant? And what's the name of the manager?
captain: Oh, there are some namecards in front, near the cashier. I'm so sorry. Is it about the service? The water?
me: No. It's not just about the water. It's the service. And your manager. He's unbelieveable.
cj: So, we can write to someone?
captain: But that's already the manager.
me: Is he the shift manager or the only manager?
captain: The only manager.
me: Great.
captain: (leans over and whispers) And they don't care about customer service and feedback. Even if you write in.
me: Huh?
captain: There were a few cases before that they even quarrelled with them.
me: Wait. They quarrelled among themselves or with the customers?
captain: With the customers. When customer complained, they just quarrel with the customers.
me: What? Oh my god.
captain: Yes, and I'm resigning tonight. I can't accept the way they do things.
me: I'm so happy for you. You are doing the absolutely right thing.
captain: I'm so sorry. I hope we didn't spoil the night for you.
me: No, it's ok. You just made the service better. You just made it all better. Thank you.
Later...
me: CJ, do you belong to any forums? Post this up.
cj: Ya. And I will blog about it too.
me: Ya. Me too. I'm so going to blog about it. Give them some publicity. For free.
So, there! The Mussel Guys @ Vivocity. Appalling service from the manager himself. Fuck. I could run a restaurant wayyyyy better than he ever will.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:06
Right...
Right in everything except for one.
She's a postmodernist, an existentialist and very, very self-indulged.
Then again, that's not one. That's three.
Ahhh... wtf? Who's counting? Control freak!
And she promises she will be more normal from tomorrow onwards. But normal is such a relative concept.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 03:19
ION Orchard
emman: Ya, you make people shine.
me: What? I'm like... shoe wax?
emman: You're like... an emergency lamp.
me: An emergency lamp? Oh... That's really funny.
xxx
emman: But it's hard to lie to people you love.
me: ...
emman: You know?
me: Well... it's more like withholding the truth. Not really lying. Lying is when you think up something to tell someone. It's deluding them. But if you withhold the truth, it's not really lying. It's more like... procrastination.
emman: ...
me: Ya? It's like... there's some information that you withhold and wait till a really more suitable time, then you tell them. That's not really lying. That's just... delayed information.
xxx
emman: Okay, now I can see the light is back.
me: Oh ya! So, you see... it's really easy. Just feed me some food or bring me to a bookshop. And I can be made really happy, already.
emman: So, just drop you at the bookshop and then pick you up later?
me: Ya! That's what my mum does to me. We go into a bookshop, she finds a place to sit down, I go loiter around the shelves. Twenty minutes later, I go back and look for her and I will look extremely pleased with myself. Then, we go eat something.
xxx
me: Ee Ping said I'm beyond words. There's no word to describe me. Then, he suggested 'insufferable' to engrave on my ring. I really liked it but it's too long to engrave.
emman: Insufferable. Ya, I could agree with that.
me: Oh ya? Haha...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 03:07
May 17, 2008
Trudy's windows
Trud: I am the most comfortable with him. With him, I feel that I can be most like myself.
me: How do you know what is most like yourself?
Trud: You know, the ugly side of yourself. I can be really ugly and he's seen my really ugly side.
me: You mean, in appearance wise or personality wise?
Trud: Both. Actually, I meant both.
me: Hmm... Then, maybe I have never been ugly or real with anyone. Maybe not even Kay. Vulnerable side, maybe. But ugly? I don't know...
Trud: Vulnerable is not ugly. We all have vulnerabilities. But, don't you have sides of yourself that are just ugly, either looks or some ugly characteristics?
me: ... Well, not a lot of people get to see my vulnerable side, you know. So, I guess that's one, already.
Trud: ...
me: ...
I continued thinking about it on the cab ride home. Do I not have an ugly side or I'm so good in concealing, layering, masking that I delude even myself? And, who has ever seen the real me? Do I even know her myself?
I suddenly feel overwhelmed by a wave of existentialism. Ahhh, my good old partner.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:49
Spectacular stars
Saturday - May 17, 2008
My horoscope says...
There are spectacular stars for getting what you want in love, money and business so make a wish and be prepared to have it granted.Disillusioned I may be, I retain some illusions to get by in the everyday. So, I'm wishing for some good news in the finance department. Please, stars, do your work...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:46
May 13, 2008
Emman's windows
It's not who you are underneath; it's what you do that defines who you are.Rachel said that to Wayne. And I thought of you.
I just think, that... no matter who you think you really are, it's what you do that really defines who you are. Notice I use the present tense?
The past haunts us all, in its big and little ways. But that's exactly what motivates our decisions now. I think you are one of the kindest and most thoughtful persons I have the good fortune to know.
So, since you are SO DAMN good, I have to make this public by posting on my blog. hoho!
And since I'm SO SHAMELESS... Bring me along your next trip? Puhhhllleease.....? I'm easy, really. haha
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:59
Day 1 Brewed and checked!
Day 1.Get travel itineraies. Go to travel agencies.
Checked!I like the Germany-Austria-Switz tour. I dislike the coach bit. I like the Germany-Switz (rail) cos I like the rail bit. I dislike the money bit. And so on and so forth...
But I've lotsa brochures to mull through, info to work on now. So... one idea brewed, one agenda checked!
WELL DONE, Jancy Chua! *self-pats on me back..
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:48
May 10, 2008
All the mantras
The first mantra is "Life's short; have fun!"
The second mantra is "Pain is good; it is real."
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:19
Ahh...ahh..ouuuch!
Yoga Lesson II
Today, it's all about the sun salutation. Seriously, why do we salute so much to the sun? For working extremely hard the past month?
I was, in fact, looking forward to some kind of ache today. Preferably not as excruciating as Lesson I. I got more than I bargained for. I think my hamstrings are sooo going to ache tomorrow like they never did before.
But that hasn't deterred me from my rock walls at Genting First World Hotel. That's where I will be spending tomorrow night in. No, I meant, the hotel, not the walls.
Just a weekend trip with the family to kickstart my next week of block leave from work! Yayhoo!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:13
May 09, 2008
A short love affair
I'm reading this book 'Hunting and Gathering' by Anna Galvada now. It was made into a movie, casting (who else?) Audrey Tautou. Last year, I think. But I missed that.
It's a really charming story. Just today and yesterday, while reading the book, I've muttered more than 5 times to myself, 'this is such a charming book.'
I was drawn into the story by page 3. It's a bit like falling in love. Chuckling at the wit of the characters, sharing the loneliness each of them goes through and enjoying the little happy things that turn up at the most unexpected time for the people in the story.
It's like reading The Year of Magical Thinking, but with so much less pain.
A good story makes you wish that it will never end. And when it does, you know you will go back to it again.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:29
Miserable attempt
I'm a Silver Kris Flyer's friend. My friend's name is Shaohao. Ya, I know. You guys who have been reading this blog since 5 years ago, that's Mr Chua aka Handsome aka SH. Same person lah...
And I tried, so hard, to write something in Chinese. But bah. The result is crap. But, here it is, anyway...
我 的 华 语 沟 通 能 力 逐 渐 退 步。除 非 你 说 的 是 新 加 坡 教 育 部 华 文 组 所编 的 小 学 华 文 课 本 5A。几 乎 每 个 单 元 我 都 重 复 地 教 了 好 几 次。学 生 们 都 不 记 得 哪 个 词 语 来 自 哪 个 单 元，可 我 全 都 记 得。教 得 我 想 吐!
我 想，若 是 再 让 我 多 点 写，多 点 用，肯 定 能 突 飞 猛 进。毕 竟 在 大 学 中 文系 混 了 三 年，要 说 一 口 流 利 的 华 语 真 的 应 该 不 难。
可 是。。。人 往 往 有 很 多 借 口，不 是 去 做 某 件 事，而 是 不 去 做 某 件 事。也 因 为 真 的 很 少 朋 友 可 以 说 这 么 一 口 流 利 的 华 语。但 是 你 可 以。
总 觉 得 很 别 扭，结 结 巴 巴。或 许 没 有 灵 感，或 许 因 为 背 景 传 来 的 是 首 首 的 英 语 歌，脑 子 有 点 混 乱。
下 一 次，我 会 写 地 更 顺 畅。下 一 次，我 们 还 用 华 语 交 谈。
I know. Hardly my standard of writing in Chinese! Even I say so myself. haha! But I will improve. Really.
So, Bao-er> dare I reclaim my status as your ch teacher when I even have difficulty blogging in Chinese? Yes, it's really quite bad, the above. Trust me.
Sigh...
Anyway! Shaohao, I know you'll be reading this. Don't be silly. I am soooo not going to get angry or offended by your correcting my errors in those Chinese quantifiers (ya, they exist...). Even if I were pissed, it's nothing that a return ticket to Hong Kong can't coax.
And I must, must add this:
真 的 很 难 碰 到 这 么 有 自 律，这 么 有 意 志 力 的 人。但，你是。
I have always looked up to you in that aspect. Self-motivated, self-disciplined and most valuably, humble. Really.
Nothing to do with the HK trip.
I'll be waiting for your 'Pack your bags for this weekend' text! hoho!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:16
May 08, 2008
'tis Love.
Reading an email that asked kids about what love is. I found this hilarious and laughed out loud. I hope it has the same effect on you. Amidst all the bad news we get, everyday.
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' ~Lauren, 4
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:20
May 07, 2008
This Blog's 5th Birthday!
May 7, 2003. Was the date of birth.
60 months. Is the span of time.
Beginning with the last goodbye to the Soc Hons Room, through all those job hunts/hopping, through all those could-have-beens and had-beens, through friends lost and gained, through faith gained and lost, through some amount of optimism to an aura of simply indifference, through a few guest bloggers, through the bubbly girl to the bitch, through them all...
This blog saw.
Happy 5th birthday!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:45
May 06, 2008
Classic Jancy
welcome, welcome! Shower this island! says:
i think dogs are damn way cuter than a gf/bf. haha
welcome, welcome! Shower this island! says:
at least they ignore u n don't feel bad about it. so, u dun ve to placate them when they feel bad about ignoring u. wtf?
juxRebel says:haha
welcome, welcome! Shower this island! says:
my dogs ignore me so much... but i dun blame them. cos they are always confused about who has the cookie. see.. that's love. i usually don't ve the cookies too. haha... my dad has them all!
juxRebel says:
man, it's hard to comprehend using dogs as an analogy
welcome, welcome! Shower this island! says:
haha... bottom line? Dogs 1 - 0 Human.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 12:25
May 04, 2008
Defence
We are our own first and last defence against other people's nonsense.Somehow, I keep thinking that there must be an even deeper interpretation to this statement. I will keep chewing on it. Thanks darling!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:29
The burden of happiness
And suddenly, I realised what a burden happiness really can be.
Along with that realisation, I seemed to gain invaluable empathy into how Desmond and Kay might have felt, the burden of happiness that caused them to want to break free. From me.
Because they knew I really only wanted them to be happy in our relationship. There was so much, a lot, that I was capable of doing or not doing just so to ensure the harmony and happiness in our relationships. And I did.
But to be the reason for someone else's happiness is a burden. I used to think it's a bliss; that I would be so lucky if someone made me the reason for happiness, the motivation behind every smile.
Only I found out it's not true.
Certain people cannot handle this. Because we are not selfish. Desmond, Kay and I. Even GQ. We are all not selfish. Or are we so selfish that we can't spare the effort to make another person's day?
Maybe we are suited for depression. Because depression is only about ourselves, alone. Depression is about withdrawal. It's totally in line with being self-indulgent. Because we are not selfish, just very self-indulgent?
I don't know. This is going too far.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:59
Her wish... for me
...my wish for you is that life for you becomes a thing of the present
~ Trudy aka Wifey
I really, really appreciate this. It touched me. Thank you.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:42
May 01, 2008
entomophobia
I really, really dislike insects. I'm not so afraid of all insects. But I think most insects are pretty disgusting. Gross. Aghastly irritating.
I can never stand the small golden beetle that pops by to visit occasionally, or the flying cockroach that comes by once in a long, long while (Thank goodness!).
Insect kingdom makes up the largest piece in the pie of living things. Totally, absolutely, freakishly horrifying.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:56
Wenn's windows
If you could just explain to me what is an 'unforced error'. Is it really China's fault? You are beginning to sound too much like Kyn.
I vaguely remember... was it when I said I don't punish myself for my weaknesses?
In any case, sometimes, it does almost appear that I don't have any weaknesses. I don't even like chocolate cake. According to Karen, that's just impossible.
If you really want to know, you should have paid the $5 yesterday night when I narrated and quite practically shrieked my way out of the murder of a flying cockroach. Jasmine was the one who rose to the occasion, grabbed it with her gloved hands, trapped it in the glove and (not daring to touch it anymore than she already did) disposed it down the rubbish chute.
Brave sister. I sure could lend her to you the next time da mei guo jia chong goes visiting you.
You are spending wayyy too much. Don't find any more excuses.
Oh! I sooooo seeee the bad English coming... The perfect ally for Kyn.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:45